Scared Pinkless

The Pink Panther and his gang are alongside the classic cartoons that I grew up with and still love watching to this day. Timeless and endlessly entertaining, there's always one for the occasion and today is a good time to look at Pink Plasma. In Pink Plasma the panther finding himself in a spooky castle full of monsters and other classic haunted house tropes. This one feels like a Halloween greeting card to me. No jokes this time, let's just watch a great cartoon.

Paul's Ice Cold Blood Ritual

I don't know how many times I've brought up Vampire's Secret ice pops in casual conversation. Once minute the doctor is asking me how I've been feeling, and the next I'm telling him about these old popsickles with blood red syrup. They were a wonderful thing and were sold under a variety of names. That brings us to this cool Australian variation of the idea, Paul's Dracula Ice Cream. In this commercial from 1981, Paul's injects the spooky shit right into our veins (which Dracula will later empty). Dracula apparently has taken to sleeping in a ice cream cooler instead of his coffin... and the customers join him. That poor convenience store worker just isn't getting paid enough to deal with this!

When it Raines it pours (blood)

Ah, local businesses at Halloween. They really want to just get the message out... but it's Halloween. Throw on a Dracula cape, turn on the fog machine, and play some spooky music. Now get your ass down here and buy something! I've got to give it to Raines Chevrolet, our spokesman really looks like he's having fun. Though I do wonder if a gold colored economy car really is the best choice for a Dracula themed commercial. I digress... that damn thing is cheap!

Terrified Tomatoes!

Burger Chef is a long dead fast food chain that was routinely haunted by Count Fangburger. A vampire who hungered for your blood... or a really good burger. This is another one of those times where I'm all about the production of the commercial here. Specifically Count Fangburger's classic cartoon villain portrayal. His voice, laugh, and that bat! Anyone else really hungry?

Still Going

It's probably hard for some in today's world of rechargeable devices to imagine it. That there was a time that keeping batteries around the house was absolutely necessary. These days I just keep some around for the Roku remote, but everything else just takes a USB charger. If anything, it's just a struggle to find a charging box sometimes. But back in the day, just about everything needed them and not an old one that lost it's power in the junk drawer. Once again seasonal appropriate commercials were there to remind you of the things you needed anyway... but with a little flair.

Duracell batteries last a long time, just like Dracula! This Halloween, you damn well better have a flashlight (or glow stick) on hand to light your way while trick or treating. For whatever reason the neighborhoods side walks become death traps and the ability to operate a car competently just escapes most drivers. YOU NEED THAT LIGHT. Hopefully there's a Duracell in it to ensure that not only will you be able to safely trick or treat... but also the rest of the year when your mom keeps it on her nightstand in case the power goes out.

I Vant to Betamax your Neck!

As someone who works the graveyard shift, I'm all too familiar with recording my shows and watching them later. Of course in today's streaming world that's given way to in demand video, but the sentiment remains. Whenever I watch a commercial these days, it's usually some for incontinence medication. Long gone are the hokey spots where Dracula would sell you a VCR, and that's a damn shame.

Epoch Marks on your Neck

LCD games were a lot of fun back in the day. Sure, what we have now is much better... but there was just an appeal about these little units you either did or just didn't get. This Dracula one is definitely neat. The game itself looks pretty complex for one from 1982 as well. It's hard not to love Dracula and I can see somebody playing there's in between bursts of trick or treaters while the local TV horror marathon plays. There's probably a slice of pizza and a soda on the same table. Good times.

Draculus X: Rondo of Energon

"Halloween is my national holiday!" Dracula proudly exclaims in 'The Halloween that Almost Wasn't/The Night Dracula Saved the World'. Truer words have never been spoken and there's no better time to look at Dracula's Transformers debut as Draculus. The Universal Monsters are something I truly love as readers know and as an older post would tell you, something Hasbro tried to work into Transformers in the past. Draculus is ultimately the culmination of that idea finally seeing light as he is an Official Universal Monsters crossover with Transformers. Neat, huh?

Weekly Halloween: Vampires at the Park

 

I've mentioned the Satanic Panic that was running rampant during my childhood before... and that's why I can't hear this song without strongly thinking about it. Add in the particular dramatic nature of teenagers and you've got probably one of the most ridiculous things one could be afraid of. Everyone is accustomed to the goth kids in high school, but they're a little bit of an oddity still when you're only in elementary. Headbangers? Oh yeah, you knew about those. Punks and Goths? That took a little growing to understand more. So there I was in the era of Satan around every corner and everything being a satanic message. For the record, I also had a teen-aged brother and his friends filling me about things. 

I knew about the cult that sacrificed people in the woods behind school (that one may have been real), and how Dio stood for Devil Inside Out (no really). Those kids in all black at the park? They were vampires. They worshiped the devil and drank blood. The guy who worked at the Circle K who was really into Ozzy Osbourne also worshiped the devil and drank blood, however wasn't a vampire. Just really evil. So here I was, a kid (those aren't easily scared, are they?) being told the honest truth about all these horrors going on all around me. 

Then the Lost Boys came out and that teen-aged brother and his friends? They might have been into the new hot movie for teenagers that just came out. With a popular song and music video! Lou Gramm may look fancy with his poofy man perm, but that's pure terror in that music video. Scenes of that movie with vampires that look like those kids at the park. Lou Gramm and ... whoever that kid is... stuck on the trailer from King of the Road with a bunch of ... are they vampires?

My point is that it terrified me for a few weeks there. I'd like to say it left me traumatized... but I was a kid and moved onto other things that was apparently also satanic. Before I went through my own all black clothing phase, I was also apparently satanic. This though was because I was a weird kid and liked scary stuff. Why the hell do I look back fondly on my childhood again?

Not As Brightly Lit: Re-Fanged

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A sudden migraine inspires Rob to revisit an older episode of the show that many haven't heard. The plastic vampire fang, one of Halloween's most hallowed traditions. 

Not As Brightly Lit: Graveyard Mansion

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Memorial Day weekend is approaching and summer is starting up! As the prelude to Halloween, summer indeed is a spooky season. In the spirit of those scary stories soon to be told around a camp fire, we're listening to an episode of 'The Witches Tale' from March 6th 1933 called 'Graveyard Mansion'. 

Disco Dracula On NBC

Why the hell not?

Tonight's Weather- Spooky!

Before you head out to trick or treat, it's always a good idea to check the weather. It might be cold or rainy. It's fall after all and you never know what's waiting for you out there. Even then you still may never know, but at least you tried.

Nothing worse than having your Kooky Spooks wash off in the rain. My advice, tape a glow stick to the end of your umbrella and show that storm who's boss! The spooky season will NOT be held back by some damn rain!

Admittedly the Kooky Spooks will probably fall off on it's own, but at least you can avoid having it wash off all over your horror robe.

 

Wash Your Car With Dracula

Nothing says Halloween like Dracula. Nothing about washing your car says Halloween at all. For whatever reason, Dracula is here to sell you car wash and detailing products... and it's the funniest fucking thing he's ever seen. Why Dracula is out in day light isn't addressed, but I'm pretty sure Dracula's high. I'll be honest, I had the hardest damn time understanding what the hell he was saying. Last thing I got was Halloween... what the hell is even going on?

Scary Monsters, Frozen Treats

Summer is a Spooky Season ....and hot as crap. Depending on where you live, sometimes the floor literally is lava. Where I live it's around 100 degrees this time of year, and that's not adding in the humidity. Know what's scary? Chaffing. One way everybody likes to stay cool is a pop sickle, ice cold and delicious. There's no better way to beat the heat. But man... it's a Spooky Season, right? 

Monster Pops and Vampire's Secret served up the summer chills back in the day. Monster themed frozen treats don't haunt the freezer section at Kroger anymore, but when they did, it was awesome. While Monster Pops came flavored orange, cherry, and grape in a variety of monster shapes! Though there was a disproportionate amount of grape as opposed to the other flavors in each box. It wasn't much of a surprise to find a freezer burnt grape misshapen vampire behind the tombstones in my family freezer.

Vampire's Secret wasn't just awesomely themed, it was a fucking delicacy. A black cherry pop sickle filled with this amazingly delicious cherry sauce. When it comes to frozen novelties, it was the creme of the crop and a box generally lasted only minutes. It's surprising that the flavor isn't still around. They could re-theme it into anything else and it'd still be the best tasting thing in the store. But... they should keep Dracula on the box.

Set Your VCR For The Vampires

The Tomb of Bunnicula

I've always liked scary stuff. Even when I was just a little kid, I loved monsters and of course couldn't wait for Halloween. I'm sure by now you're pretty aware of that. I also read a whole lot. Thanks to The ABC Weekend Special, I was exposed to a lot of books that I did eventually read. As Halloween came around, the show game me a cartoon based on the Bunnicula books. This one to be exact.

Tokyu Sportswear inside a Haunted House

Admittedly I don't know anything about Tokyu Sportswear as it's heyday was when I was a child and just like today was happy in Fruit of the Loom hoodie most of the time. But what I'm getting here is these guys are sporting their Tokyu Sportswear in a haunted house full of creepy creeps. I don't know if that really matters, but it's likely more easy to run like hell away from a ghoul in sportswear than other outfits.

Lost in the Shadows

The Lost Boys came out when I was in elementary school and was serious business. The terrifying nature of teenagers to a dorky kid was scary enough despite being vampires. Did I mention satanic panic was rampant in our area? I'm not sure if you realize it, but Satan was behind every corner in the 80's somehow. Even at the Circle K. I saw him there once.

I'm not joking, this is serious business. There are satanists sacrificing kids (like me) in the woods and those kids in black coats on the bus are vampires. My brother totally seen them kill somebody, he told me. OMG what am I going to do? Now I've got to deal with vampires? Crap. Why are there vampires? Don't even get me started on the haunted house down the street. I saw that guy who lives the other day and he's been watching me. I heard he was satanic, what if he's the lead vampire?

I am so screwed.