Why is it always a pit?

It from the Pit is probably a lot of fun all year, but it definitely makes for some monster-movie-flavored fun with a cup of pumpkin-spiced latte.

While the game looks fun, the real star of this commercial is the animated segment, which makes me wish there was an ongoing story of adventurers facing off with that thing in the pit.

You know, just like quicksand, I seriously thought pits would be a bigger threat to my safety as a child. Never seen one.

Just the Worst

Before Harry Potter, "The Worst Witch" offered magic users a school to learn spells. I knew it as a special that would air every October on cable pretty often—HBO, Disney Channel, maybe TBS… it was on practically all month, and it was fun as crap while it was at it.

The special features the titular worst witch, Mildred Hubble, being an underdog at Witch School. Halloween comes, and the Grand Wizard is coming to visit for the holiday celebrations, and all hell breaks loose.

He performs probably one of the worst songs ever, sounding like he was making it up on the spot, all while in a montage straight out of a NyQuil-induced nightmare.

In the end, Mildred comes out on top and is rewarded with questionable time with the Grand Wizard as a prize. Mildred… maybe consider a career in HVAC repair instead?

Freddy has to Potty

Judging by the pee pee dance Freddy is doing, he even scares himself! These low rent mail order commercials were all over local channels when I was a kid. The Nightmare on Elm Street Dream Package does look like a great deal just in time for Halloween in 1989. Know what else is scary? The price!

Originally Posted 10/10/2024

You Wana try it?

Wana Wana is a game by TOMY that... why does this exist?

Seriously... it's a toy bear trap that you stick your head in. Essentially, you and your friends play chicken with this thing, taking turns sticking your heads in it until it snaps on the loser.

You know what? Forget what I said... that looks amazing!!

Ultra-Spooky Tiga! (4kids edition)

Oh no! There's a witch causing problems for children on Halloween! What do we do! SEND IN ULTRAMAN! It's Halloween and the GUTS team suspects a monster. The team investigates (in costumes, it's Halloween... duh) and soon discovers a witch handing out lollipops to children. Trick or Treat? It's a TRICK! The witch is stealing the children's dreams and converting them into energy! Good thing Ultraman Tiga is here to save Halloween!

Originally Posted 9/16/2022 *now with the 4kids version of the episode*

Form Blazing Candle

The wording of this commercial gives me pause. "Pre-Halloween?" I'm assuming that's meant to say they're showing it a few days before? I dunno.

Jack O'Lantern is a pretty fun cartoon that's a bit wild. Jack is a pumpkin-headed guy who arrives on the scene and immediately gets into one hell of a fight with a witch and her crew.

Jack is actually a leprechaun piloting the pumpkin guy... it's weird.

What is cool is the fact that it's a Rankin/Bass production, meaning it was outsourced to Japanese animation studios. Either Topcraft or Mushi Productions animated this little special, and it looks really good.

While I doubt the studio had anything to do with the script, part of me can't help but find what's essentially a Pumpkin Super Robot cartoon hilarious.

Splatter in your House

I'll never forget that one morning as I was getting ready for school. I was in the 6th grade... and miserable. Middle school and high school were not happy times for me, and I dragged my feet each morning, watching cartoons before leaving for the day.

I was watching The New Adventures of He-Man when this AWESOME little spot for the TurboGrafx-16 version of Splatterhouse came on, farming all the aura possible. Splatterhouse was a game that felt like an urban legend. Either you'd seen it or you hadn't, and nobody believed you if you said you had.

ME? I'd played it at the Circle K by my grandmother's house and was blown away... and still am to this day. It's wild they allowed a game like this to happen at the time, and this particular version got some pretty crazy edits to play it safe. Still, I mentally default to this versions red horror mask whenever I think of the game.

It's the perfect way to spend an evening during the spooky season.

The Long Ass Halloween

Somebody, somewhere decided having kids trick or treat with a character would be a fun thing to do. In theory they were right. In practice they get your drunk Uncle dressed as Batman. In this special community event where a handful of kids get to meet the caped crusader and receive "a pot of gold". You know, it's hard to poop all over something like this... but something about... somebody help those kids. Not Batman.

Originally Posted 8/25/2022

Davey's Night

Trick or Treat isn't just fun words to say, they're words to live by. Davey, Sallie, and Goliath must have got one too many of those nasty peanut butter chews- because it's hell on earth this hallows eve! Some kids and a talking dog just want to watch the world BURN! Come to think about it, know who else was advised by a talking dog? DAVID BERKOWITZ! Wait... David... Davey... well shit. It all makes sense now.

Originally Posted 10/06/2022

Another Mansion, Another Mystery

Halloween is around the corner and we're having company over. We're having fondue and someone brought out Mystery Mansion to play. Who did it? Who knows—maybe look in the parlor.

Neatly enough, this is one of those games with the electronic voice box that gives out clues when you enter the number from a randomly drawn card.

Uh oh… someone lost the electronic talking box and put the one from their sister’s copy of Dream Phone in instead. Whatever, let’s make the most of it.

Turns out Corey has a crush on me!

Light Your Way At Burger King

I've said it a few times and for land's sake I mean it. You need a good light when out trick or treating. It's just the right thing to do. There's this weird paradox in which driving a car on Halloween night makes the driver unable to see people not normally in the street dressed as Power Rangers. All caution is to the wind and the only thing keeping you safe is a good light.

Fortunately Burger King is here with free flashlights and treat bags to use when you go trick or treating. Assuming the manager didn't take them all home. In all honesty, that's a pretty great freebie for a fast food place. Those are the type of flashlights normally sold at stores. Not too shabby Burger King! You might recognize it as the old flashlight your grandmother keeps by her bed.

So take your flashlight and be safe out there. Later, your parents will happily take your new flashlight and keep it by their bed. Another word of advice, wait until it's night time to use your flashlight. That damn kid's going to run out the battery before sunset.

Originally Posted 9/01/2020

Man, what did Usher's House ever do?

I don't always have a joke for these. Okay, usually I have something to say... but this is just a really great animation based on Edgar Allan Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher", and it's cool as hell.

Happy Halloween.

Kiss Or Treat

It's not too uncommon to see a a member of KISS at Halloween. A perfect costume in many ways. If somebody doesn't recognize you or your make up runs... now you're a ghost! Boo! If you're too old for trick or treating, it's the perfect costume for a party. With the horribly named 'Kiss your Face' makeup kit by Remco, you can trick or treat all night and eat candy every day.

I'm not apologizing for that closing line.

 

Originally Posted 8/18/2020 

Meet and Treat Yourself

This old PSA from the 70's advises it's best to trick or treat in groups. That's not the worst idea, though I can't help but to notice all the Tootsie branded candy. That's because Tootsie sponsored this spot. I guess they felt the need since so many of their products are handed out on Halloween night. Come to think of it, I never saw Tootsie Rolls outside of Halloween and Christmas as a kid. These days it's in every waiting room I see, full of Tootsie Rolls candy. They should really make a waiting room safety tape.

Originally Posted 8/30/2024

Trick Or Treat, Your Breath Stinks

Whenever I'd get gum in my treat bag, it was usually some Double Bubble or Bazooka. Hubba Bubba or Bubble Yum if I was lucky. Wrigley's thought to throw their hat in the Halloween ...hat pile... and pitched some good old fashioned Wrigley's Chewing gum as a more 'wholesome' treat to give out. I can't fault them for it. It's a standby of the candy stand, everyone loves it. Even inside the pack, each stick is individually wrapped and the stuff is cheap. At least 5 sticks for a quarter. Starting to think about handing out Juicy Fruit myself!

Originally Posted 9/14/2021 

The Mouse of Survival Horror

Okay... okay... this is amazing.

Disney's Japanese parks are known for being some of the best theme parks in the world, specifically DisneySea. Their version of the Tower of Terror has always looked to be a high-caliber effort, but then there's this promo video made for the ride that's just chef's kiss.

Admittedly, I'm a fan of older '90s video game 3D animation, but the PS1 cutscene look of this production is just... man.

I'm at a loss for words, and this is another one of those times I'm just showing you something awesome.

Happy Halloween.

You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you bowl with the reaper

Wow, we've come a long way, haven't we? These days, AIDS is thankfully a treatable disease... however, it wasn't always that way.

While I'm absolutely not making light of it, this PSA is absolutely ridiculous and, frankly, pretty insensitive.

It's also hilarious? I mean, the Grim Reaper is bowling with humans as pins. Okay, we've seen that metaphor before...

HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT BABY SPIN IN THE AIR?

Who's the One Having Pumpkin Spiced Mayhem?

~The red moon has appeared in the skies of Planet Zone as it has since named Planet Micro. With it, the Bloody Zone opens and its foulest contents pour out. Till all are none.~

It's the first week of August, and that means it's time to set the pumpkins out. Hang a cardboard skeleton on your door. Light a candle and watch leaves blow in the wind with that quiet sound only fall can bring.

It's time for the world to get spooky.

It's Halloween.

Okay... it's still summer.

I know, I don't care.

Like every year, Halloween starts in August and runs for three months on Zone Base. Is that excessive? Yes. Look at it this way: there's been Halloween stuff filtering into stores since June, August is Ghost Month in several Asian countries, and besides, it's fun as hell.

If this is your first Halloween season on Zone Base, you're in for a treat. All the normal content still goes on as usual, with a little something sinister mixed in and spooky season bonus posts in between.

We're going trick-or-treating for the next three months, Zone Base readers. Put on a mask and grab your pillowcase.

It's time for Zone Base Halloween.

Black cats and goblins and broomsticks and ghosts,
Covens of witches with all of their hosts.
You may think they scare me, you're probably right.
Black cats and goblins on Halloween night...

Trick or treat!

Sweet Biohazard

Summer is a Spooky Season.

Put a Smile On

Summer is a Spooky Season.