Just the Worst

Before Harry Potter, "The Worst Witch" offered magic users a school to learn spells. I knew it as a special that would air every October on cable pretty often—HBO, Disney Channel, maybe TBS… it was on practically all month, and it was fun as crap while it was at it.

The special features the titular worst witch, Mildred Hubble, being an underdog at Witch School. Halloween comes, and the Grand Wizard is coming to visit for the holiday celebrations, and all hell breaks loose.

He performs probably one of the worst songs ever, sounding like he was making it up on the spot, all while in a montage straight out of a NyQuil-induced nightmare.

In the end, Mildred comes out on top and is rewarded with questionable time with the Grand Wizard as a prize. Mildred… maybe consider a career in HVAC repair instead?

Witches Night

Last year I was pretty bummed. Witches Night Out had been bought up by some distributor and disappeared from all my streaming apps. Thankfully, it's now on Tubi, so it's easily watchable again! This is one of my favorite Halloween specials and it's admittedly pretty whacked out. I've posted it here every Halloween... but every season is someone's first. You've got some kids who are disappointed that their costumes didn't scare anyone and they meet a Witch who feels unwanted. Mayhem commences as the grown ups boring Halloween party gets a taste of the spooky shit! One thing that everyone notices is the solid colors the characters are represented in. I think first seeing this on Disney Channel made me make comparisons to Monsters in My Pocket and drew me in. Either way, it's pretty weird... and pretty great.

Dracula and Saved Halloween and maybe the World

As Pumpkin Spiced Mayhem comes to an end, it's time for a viewing of my all time favorite Halloween special. The Halloween that Almost Wasn't/The Night Dracula Saved the World is about Dracula and his fellow monsters trying to prevent the Witch from quitting her duties to fly over the moon at Halloween. It's hilarious and full of noticeable little goofs that make it even better. Happy Halloween everybody, thankfully Dracula saved it... and/or the world. Maybe both.

Miss Switch: Endgame

Mordo has captured Amelia and taken back in time and it's up to Miss Switch (who can time travel apparently) and Rupert to save her! Hey... you guys just notice that if you cover the S... Miss Switch's name is... WITCH! I mean, they covered that in the last adventure... but now we're time traveling and I was too busy hating on my prior school teachers.

Miss Switch: Minus One

I've had some bad teachers before, but I don't think any were actually witches. Fortunately, while Miss Switch is a witch, she's a good witch. My teachers were probably demons. You've all seen my terrible grammar, know where I learned that? Them. Speaking of evil witches, Saturna has taken control of the Witches council. Her evil knows no bounds... like fixing a local high school football game and other dastardly deeds. You know, considering my teachers focus on keeping the sports kids on priority, maybe they were witches. Will Miss Switch defeat certain evil by putting children in danger? Yep. Come to think of this, my school experience was just like this. Just without the good witches.

Who's Witching the Kids?

Usually this time of year I post one of my favorite Halloween specials, a weirdo little cartoon called Witch's Night Out. However it's been pulled from YouTube. I guess that's fair considering it's still being sold on DVD and on streaming services, but man does it feel weird to watch it go. Of course it's available on a magical place for now...

Which one of you is a Witch?

Halloween is a season more so than just a holiday. I say that knowing many of you will be spending an evening or two in good company enjoying something spooky. In the early 70's you might have found yourself playing a game of Which Witch? Perfect for anytime you want some spooky fun, but absolutely just right for a creepy autumn night. For a board game commercial this production goes hard. Between the almost dark web look of the live action witches to the forbidden nature in the way the game is presented overall... Which Witch? feels more like a cursed relic than a good time.

100% that Witch

Wendy has a problem. Her sisters are a bunch of witches and they scare her. Problem is, Wendy is something of a witch herself. A pretty clumsy witch at that. What's she to do? Go trick or treating and learn how to use her own magic! Nothing like learning a little self worth to realize that you are 100% that witch.

Originally Posted 10/20/2021

Halfway 2 Halloween~ Witchcraft in the Kitchen

It's pretty great timing that Walpurgis Night is at the start of Halfway to Halloween. Halloween, itself, requires a witch to fly over the moon to happen. So what better way to get the Pre-Spooky Season going than a little witchy celebration? Halfway to Halloween is often a good excuse for some spooky fun in the springtime. This means some scary movies with friends and of course there's going to be popcorn. Jiffy Pop knows there's a certain amount of magic in making their product without burning it, so they chose a witch to sell it on TV in the olden days. Man, the video quality of this makes it extra spooky... dang.

Witches come out to Play

It's time to bring this classic out for 2023. While it may not be for everyone, it's one of my favorite Halloween specials. I'll watch it throughout the year whenever I want a little Halloween fun. It's a great story that fits the holiday with a little personality of it's own. Local kids are disappointed that they didn't scare anyone while trick or treating and a witch turns them into real monsters. Meanwhile the adults in town hold a Halloween party in the witches house. All while this is going on, the witch's magic wand gets lost. There's a lot going on and things get weird. The epitome of Halloween.

Spooky Summer~ Ritual

Summer is a Spooky Season.

Walpurgis Week 2023!

It's time to get spooky Zone Base readers, Halfway to Halloween starts now with Walpurgis Week here on Planet Zone! In honor of Walpurgis Night festivals happening this coming weekend in various parts of the world, we'll be focusing on creepier stuff all week! Next week, Halfway 2 Halloween posts will start for two whole weeks! Sure, some places started mid April, but Christmas in July... Halloween in May. It's just a short taste of the Pumpkin Spiced Mayhem that'll start in August until October... and with a focus on a more nostalgic look at the season. Hold onto your dooky gang, the next 3 weeks are gonna be spooky!

Weekly Halloween~ Witchy Ways

Ever see a witch? The town I loved in for a few years had one. She seemingly lived under a bridge in the town square. There was several accounts of her performing spells in the Post Office parking lot, dancing around small fires made of sticks and roadkill. I saw her once shaking some beads at a building. Was she just a crazy person loose in the streets? Maybe, but I wasn't sticking around to find out.

Weekly Halloween- The Christmas Witch

Everyone will bring up Krampus each year. It's to be expected during such a happy and cheery time. Real ones know about Christmas time monsters that terrorize kids and adults alike during the most wonderful time of the year. It used to be time for scary stories after all. Probably one of the most fun Christmastime creeps would be Gryla, the Christmas Witch. In Iceland, she's believed to take naughty children back to her cave and eat them. Her story goes back a long time and has several variations thought history, but that's the general gist of it.

She's not alone either, her kids (or brothers depending on story) tend to cause all sorts of troubles in the homes of these naughty children. They eat the kids back at the cave along with Gryla and her lazy husband. Just like most witches, Gryla has a cat who eats those that didn't get new clothes to wear before Christmas Eve. Suddenly all those socks and crappy sweaters from grandparents don't seem so bad. I think whats really funny, is that thanks to so many parents using Gryla as a way to scare their children into behaving, it was actually against the law for a while. Gryla is still somewhat a common mythological character that terrorizes Iceland during Christmas. That says something to her spookiness that she's been around so long and still somewhat a real world terror to those who hear about her every Christmas. Happy Holidays... if you survive.

Is my National Holiday

We're winding down the spooky season and it's time to dust off my absolute favorite Halloween special. The Halloween That Almost Wasn't/The Night Dracula Saved The World. It has two names depending on how it's distributed, but the same all time great. There's just something special about a bunch of TV actors getting together and putting on a silly production with an obvious shoe string production for the holiday. Well, I say shoe string... they're was obviously a lot of *ahem* substances in use. That couldn't have been cheap. The Mummy has a pretty hard time staying upright after awhile.  It's a great special though. Halloween in it's purest form.

If you're stuck inside...

I post this cartoon every year, I know, it's one of my favorites. Before you go any further... yeah it's weird how the people are drawn. Either way it's a great little cartoon. Specials like this and Garfield deliver what I consider to be the ideal Halloween. The fun of trick or treating and a scary adventure. I think most of us have had a spooky story from a Halloween or two. Did you hear something? See something? Get chased by a nutjob? Those folks saw monsters.

On Target for a great Halloween

I don't mention Target enough here. Sure, I do when it comes to Transformers and everything. But they are a serious retail force when it comes to Halloween. They're one of the big retailers people look to for great stuff during the spooky season. Costumes, decor, candy, neat shit... they've got it. That cool orange skeleton with the pumpkin head everyone's after this year? That's Target. Mines sitting proudly on my porch right now! They always bring the noise each year. Just look at this commercial from 1995. That's prime Halloween.

Ghosts and Goblins by the Score

Trick or Treating is FUN! You get dressed up, knock on doors, and get candy! Hey, I got an idea! Let's go to Uncle Donald's house. You know, the dickhead! Donald Duck decided to play tricks on Huey, Dewey, and Louie denying them of Halloween candy... from his house. Not sure why they didn't just move on... but Witch Hazel isn't having any of it. Magic spells, ghosts, and breaking doors open with skulls are abound! 

You know... why didn't they just move on?

Bewitch you in a Jiffy

 

It's not unheard of to pop some popcorn on Halloween. Just an easy snack to enjoy during those horror marathons while trick or treating kids. It's no surprise that Jiffy Pop would try and sell their potentially dangerous product for a spooky fun All Hallows Evening. I've only seen this commercial in the state we're watching it right now. I have no clue if it was just as unsettling when first aired, or the transfer from some millennia old VHS caused it to look this way. Either way, I don't think they intended it to look so... cursed. It's not everyday that a popcorn commercial feels forbidden, but here we are.

The TRU Witch Project

 

Halloween is scary. It's fun, silly, whimsical... but scary at it's core. I think that's what makes this old Toys R Us commercial really stand out. After all the stuff you'd expect, there's the fun little bit with the kids in their costumes (DUDE M.A.S.K!) going out to trick or treat with good old dad while mom stays home to hand out candy. What mom's really handing out is nightmares as *poof* she's a scary witch and she's coming right at you!