Dracula Saved Halloween for You and Me

Here we are again. The Halloween season is slowly coming to a close and that means once again I'm talking about The Halloween that Almost Wasn't/The Night Dracula Saved the World. It's my favorite Halloween special... I've said that each time. I said it because I meant it. When I was a kid, Halloween was this weird patchwork holiday. Spooky, creepy, scary... but also ratchet as hell sometimes. The Disney Channel, for example, a big company with lots of money and slick polish would fill October with tons of old specials like this.

It's got the production value of a school play, almost amateurish things happen on screen like when the Wolfman is standing in view before he's supposed to go through a door. The Mummy just falls on his ass a few times. But... it's funny as hell. Like, legitimately funny. There's a fun script and the actors are obviously having a great time. It's a good thing the special is easily watchable, because none would believe that this thing exists. Despite all that, it's so very Halloween at it's core. Pure Pumpkin Spiced Mayhem. Happy Halloween everybody.

The Mummy [ReAction/Monsters of the Silver Screen]

It was the monster figures that first caught my attention when Super7 started their ReAction figure line a good decade or so ago. I was quickly hooked and have been buying the old school style figures ever since. Their Monsters of the Silver Screen blind box series features Universal Monsters in black and white colors similar to how they appeared in those classic movies. Obviously, I'm a fan. Today we'll be looking at The Mummy. This figure represents Boris Karloff's portrayal of Imhotep, who was also played by Arnold Vosloo in the popular newer moves. Well, the ones that started in 1999.

That is technically newer than the focal point today. That movie came out in 1932, which was 93 years ago. Honestly, I prefer Kharis over Imhotep. He's The Mummy in all the sequels and is the stereotypical Mummy you think of regarding the monster. Imhotep spends most of his movies rejuvenated and is only in the traditional look in fleeting moments. When I was very young, my brother and I had Remco Monsters that got played with a lot. My brother had The Mummy and I had Frankenstein's Monster.

They glowed in the dark and had a terrifying grabbing gimmick when a button on their back was pushed. A little later on, my Dad acquired a sale boat model that went on display in our living room. I don't know why, but The Mummy and Frankenstein became the permanent passengers of that boat. Come to our house, watch TV in the living room, and be amazed by our boar piloted by monsters dammit. I've got multiples of these ReAction versions of the monsters, this one is in black and white... like the movie.

Dracula and Saved Halloween and maybe the World

As Pumpkin Spiced Mayhem comes to an end, it's time for a viewing of my all time favorite Halloween special. The Halloween that Almost Wasn't/The Night Dracula Saved the World is about Dracula and his fellow monsters trying to prevent the Witch from quitting her duties to fly over the moon at Halloween. It's hilarious and full of noticeable little goofs that make it even better. Happy Halloween everybody, thankfully Dracula saved it... and/or the world. Maybe both.

Make Mine Monster

TOMY is a company readers of the site should be well acquainted with. They merged with Takara in 2005 and the shared logo has been printed on Transformers packages ever since. Not to mention Zoids, Starriors, and other cool toys. TOMY makes A LOT of toys, big and small... which brings us to the Mighty Men and Monsters drawing set from 1978. It's a gadget where you arrange various plates and stencil in a monster or super hero. Pretty neat. The real draw here is the commercial itself. Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy are having a great time in a spooky castle drawing all sorts of cool pictures. Best brunch ever.

Unfortunately Peter Cullen Was A Werewolf

There's probably more forgotten Halloween specials than fondly remembered ones. While that's mostly a tragedy, in the Case of 'Boo!', it's for the best. It's not a bad idea. Take the classic monsters and put them in a silly variety show together during the formats heyday. Couple of musical numbers, a bunch of silly skits. Sure fire idea right? Unfortunately it's probably the worst thing ever made. I would say it's arguably worse than the Star Wars Holiday Special... but I've been able to watch that in it's entirety. I can't get through the first 15 minutes of this. Sure I've skipped around and watched a bit here and there. But straight forward? No way. It's fucking horrible.

If you can make it to minute marker 9:16... or just skip forward... you'll notice who gets top billing. Peter Cullen as the werewolf. The Peter Cullen? Maybe there is another? Possibly. But I can't find any other with a Google search. I also can't find this credit on any of his profiles either. Would you put this on your resume? It's fucking horrible.

The special is only an hour long, which you probably won't watch the entirety of. If I haven't been clear enough, it's fucking horrible. I first ran across it last summer while digging for material for the site. You guys think old Pop Secret commercials just fall out of the sky? I sat through 10 minutes before passing out thanks to that way Dracula kept singing 'do' rendering my brain incapable of thought for a full 10 minutes. Know what can happen in 10 minutes? You can hit the back button on your Roku remote, that's what.

It's fucking horrible.

Dracula Is A Dickhead

Real talk, I love Pepsi. You might have noticed. You might have noticed I love the Universal Monsters, or even the reason we're here right now. Halloween. I love all three. For a while in the 90's Pepsi and Universal Studios had a partnership with some sort of promotion usually around Halloween. It was great. Normally you could win tickets to Halloween Horror Nights or free snacks. Pepsi products even had great clip out art of the monsters. Times were good. 

The point I'm about to make isn't about the good times, it's about Dracula needing his ass kicked. I hope you've already watched the above clip. There's Frankenstein (let's not be that guy) carrying a Pepsi truck. Really struggling too. Sure he's strong, but you know that thing is heavy. As a big guy, I often get stuck carrying the heavy thing while the others just walk the fuck off. I feel your pain Frankenstein. 

Then he gets to the party where everybody else is having a good time. He brings some soda and chips and what does Dracula say? "What? No dip?" Look at his face, I felt that. I FELT THAT. FUCK YOU DRACULA AND YOUR STUPID CAPE. Take your fake fancy ass down to Kroger and get some your own damn self. Fucking asshole.

What did the Wolfman bring? Weed? Great, like a small portion of the party is going to enjoy that while the rest just try to pretend they aren't uncomfortable. Meanwhile, the Phantom is really upset about it. What if the cops come? What if I get a random drug test at work tomorrow and that second hand shit makes me fail it? I have bills man! You know the Mummy brought a snack tray and everybody saw the Aldi label. He's like royalty or something. I'm not saying he should have went to Whole Foods or anything, but come on. Seriously.

Know what Dracula brought? Jack shit. He just showed up acting like Mr. Cool and everyone just loved him. He's that guy who shows up late and just takes charge after everyone has been working the whole time. Did you decide to bring everybody donuts? He's the one who's going to complain that it's not another brand. Know what, I hope Frankenstein got some dip with a lot of garlic. Fuck that guy.

Your Mummy Wants Some Ice Cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? Despite the normally cooler temperatures of fall, a ice cream cake from Carvel shaped like a pumpkin is just the thing for a spooky dessert. The wife and I often get one ourselves, they're great. We're definitely getting one this year, especially after last year's Baskin Robbins Halloween Ice Cream cake fiasco.

What happened? Pure incompetence when trying to order one lead to a corporate complaint and a complimentary one. I'd like to say all was well, but even the act of picking it up was a nightmare. So, we're gladly getting another Carvel this year. Unfortunately we don't have access to a Carvel store here in Georgia, but they're readily available at most grocery stores. 

You think the mummy is overdue for some ice cream goodness? He's been in that tomb for what, 50 billion thousand years? You know his dry ass could go for that pleasant vanilla taste and he'd probably savor the coldness after being buried in the hot desert for so long. I'll tell you what, though. No matter how cool I think the mummy is, that fool tries to steal a piece of my Carvel and I'd have to whoop that old ass. He's like a King or something, he can buy his own.

Crestwood House Monsters- The Mummy

Friday night is the time for frights, aight? Going down our weekly look at the legendary children's book series by Crestwood House as we enter a summer holiday here in the US, I figure The Mummy would be pretty appropriate. It's so hot I'll be walking like old Imhotep by the end of the weekend and smelling like baby powder. Summer is a Spooky Season and nothing is more terrifying than chaffing. Ow.

It looks like the full book is in the preview this time, but if you want to download it to your phone or tablet for free, follow the link in the viewer.

I've always been more partial to Karis than Imhotep as far as the Universal Mummies go. Whenever you think of a traditional Mummy, you're thinking of Karis. Imhotep just left his tomb is the bandages and went about sorcery. I generally like Karis's movies better too. Though there on all the Universal Monsters signage, there's Imhotep. I'd say it's because Imhotep was in the original and Karis was in all the sequels (not counting remakes). But Jason wasn't the killer in the original Friday the 13th either. It's not fair. Karis, I appreciate you man.  Just wanted you to know that dude.

Friday Night Frights- Egyptian Melodies

It's Friday Night and you know what that means... actually right now it means I'm laying exhausted in my new home after moving all day (hooray for scheduled posts!), but to you it means some spooky shit here on the base! Disney is known for it's lighthearted family fun... but also for dark subject matter. For every happy ending, there was a death or two along the way. It's not just for dramatic storytelling either, sometimes they just like to make something scary for the hell of it.

Bravo Disney!

Here we have Egyptian Melodies from 1931 staring a cute little spider as he explores a pyramid. Know what a pyramid is? A big fancy ass crypt full of mummies and curses!

Friday Frights- Face Of The Screaming Werewolf

Lon Chaney Jr. was best known as The Wolfman in The Universal Monsters movies. If you swing by the Mego section of your local Target, you'll see an action figure of him as a werewolf alright... but not the Wolfman. It's a figure of of his werewolf character from "Face of the Screaming Werewolf". I'm guessing the rights were dirt cheap or free for Mego here. I'm not sure if the movie is even public domain, just nobody cares. Which is unfortunate as it's one of Lon Chaney Jr's final performances.

If you don't watch the entire movie above (it's only an hour), let me explain the "plot". Two mummies are found in a pyramid. One just happens to be a werewolf.

The Mamba And The Mummy

THE COBRA MAMBA, a fast attack copter with laser guns and missiles on both sides. A giant purple and black menace featuring two detachable attack pods and twin rotor blades that looked amazing when they weren't hitting each other. In 1988, while on a spring break spent at my Grandma's house, THE COBRA MAMBA went on it's most devious mission yet. A museum robbery. Did I mention I was in the 4th grade?