McDevastator

 

Recently I had a dream. Not a particularly deep dream. Not one where I questioned if I was re-living a past life or glimpsing into an alternate timeline. Just a dream, but it was weird. Often when I dream, I'm driving. Somewhere, not sure where, but driving. This time I was driving down some rural road. I have no clue where. I was technically working, so must have been a work trip. I had stopped for some food at a McDonald's and this is where the reason I'm posting  resides. Apparently, in my dream, McDonald's had a Transformers promotion. An exclusive Devastator.

Like how when McDonald's was a well run place of business and you could actually get what you ordered. Back then they'd have things like movies, glasses, and odd toys that you could buy as well as your food. Ronald was on TV and on the walls. It's not just nostalgia, it really used to be a place people liked and was generally well run. In this dream where McDonald's is a competent business again, they had an exclusive Devastator. From what I could tell, it was the same box set that Walmart had a few years ago. However now it came with an upgrade set! A set of new heads for Devastator to match his appearance in various cartoon episodes. It was truly amazing!

So I stopped and of course they were sold out. It was the fist day of availability and they were already sold out. Maybe it really was an alternate reality. I went to another and they too were out. It was there I saw a co-worker carrying 6 McDevastators and a copy of the Cybertronian Field Guide out the door. I had no clue this entire time we both shared a common interest. Then miffed that they were all sold out. The guy behind the counter had a spare Devastator head that fell out of the box and gave it to me. So I had that at least, I guess.

King Kong's Ghost Adventures

It's probably no suprise to any of you that I enjoy watching paranormal TV shows. I think I've talked about that before here. Saturday night I fell asleep in the living room with paranormal shows on in the background. This happens quite often, I'll wake up shortly after and find my way to the bedroom. Well Saturday night, the Mrs. and I were watching TV and she feel asleep on the couch and I soon did the same in my chair. We're here today to talk about the dream I had... it's a weird one. I may need help.

In my dream I had become very interested in a lost King Kong film production. The movie had begun filming, but never finished and had become lost media over time. All that was available was a picture of the King Kong costume in a warehouse door. I couldn't shake the idea that the warehouse looked super familiar. Sure enough, it turned out to be nearby. So I printed out the picture and headed there. 

The picture matched up perfectly with the warehouse. So while I was taking pictures for a post a old man walked up and asked what I was doing. After talking for a bit, it turns out he knew a lot about the production. He actually was working in the area at the time. The production was moved shortly after there was a murder in the back alley.

DUN DUN DDDDUUUUNNNNNNN

Details were scarce, but a guy was chased down the alley and shot to death. Ever since, every night you could hear the gun shots in that alley. Needless to say I came back that night to see if I could hear them. As I walked down the alley, gunshots rang out. It was scary, holy crap. I had info on this lost King Kong movie with a ghost story to boot! Then... then... I heard the hosts of The Dead Files talking as I awoke really needing to pee. Dammit.

Of Cobra Commander And Positive Dental Habits

The commercial above has nothing to do with this story, but I thought it would be a good way to showcase some of the cool GIJOE toys in India. I'm taking a little time to lament a pretty cool toy score I passed on a while back. For the longest time in summer, there was a monthly antique sale that would be held near Atlanta. I usually went, it was a pretty good time. A small admission price to enter a city of vendor booths and food trucks. The sale was a mix of actual antiques, folksy hand crafted things (furniture, food, art), and a surprising amount of toys. This is a longer post, so I'm gonna use a break here. Walls of text are just the worst.

What The WWF

These day's I'm mainly an AEW fan, but back in the day I would switch the channel between WWF and WCW basking in the glory of both companies. The wrestling video games during that time were pretty great as well. I vastly preferred WWF Superstars and WWF WrestleFest in the arcades, but they were long gone by the time WWF Wrestlemania hit my local arcades in 1995. When the home console versions came out, my Genesis found itself occupied with the likes of Lex Luger and The Undertaker. It was a good time. Something I was able to do at home that I couldn't at the arcade was beat the game... and that's what we're here for today. Brace yourselves.

Sasquatch Screams At Night

You'll need to turn your audio up a bit to hear this. According to the person making the video, at the time this was made Sasquatch sightings were rampant on the Umatilla Indian Reservation. While the sounds caught on video could be some animal howling out... they are pretty weird sounding and hard to place exactly what animal could be making them. Regardless of what is making all the ruckus, it'd be pretty scary to hear it at night. It's a weird world sometimes.

Bootleg Star Wars Tuna

 This is the way.

The Unidentified Nebraska Drones

Weird things going on in the skies over Nebraska lately.

OJ Simpson will help you see the Transformers in person

What a world we live in. It just seems like yesterday OJ Simpson... yeah. I've never had Pioneer Chicken. It's a west coast chain... or was... I think there's like one or two left. The point is I've never had it. But if I had, I could have taken advantage of their coupon books for all sorts of discounts at Universal Studios, including free admission. That's super crazy. These days a ticket is around a hundred bucks a day. Back then, all I needed was a winner winner chicken dinner. If only the creative team at Universal would have included references to the old Transformers Base Camp in the ride. Though I guess the meet and greets generally reproduce the atmosphere. Unfortunately I can't get in for free with a bucket of chicken. Because if so, my arteries be damned.

Something Spooky in the woods

Yeah, staying out of the woods from now on.

BotBots, what what

So actual information about Botbots came forth today and it's a little out of left field. In case the cute name wasn't a clue, Botbots are obviously intended for children (man... why they keep making toys for kids?) and are seemingly a stab at the Shopkins crowd which if you look at that area in your local stores is obviously a booming segment (man... why does these companies keep trying to make money?). This picture is all we're given to imagine the line and it's clear that we have a line of food Transformers. I'm sure readers know this is something I'd like (man... why does he keep buying things he likes?).

I love blind bags, this is known. I don't know if these transform like Tiny Turbo Changers and I'd be completely ok if the didn't. I like pvc figurines a lot as is and these would be pretty charming in a pvc figurine. My wife likes Shopkins and buys them often. If they come like those, this will be fun. Usually Shopkins have a few toys in a blind pack, or in the case of the Shopkins Happy Places-a matching theme for the included blind toys. For a few dollars a couple of silly little Botbots are too weird to resist.

 

 I own a weird site about monsters and robots with a random old McDonald's commercials, did you think I'd hate them?

Burger King 'Eat like a snake' commercial

You're not supposed to like them

More than meets the... hell is that?

Picture this, if you will, what if Hasbro made Animorphs toys? What if they made a transforming toy line based on Animorphs? Oh hey, doesn't Hasbro already have a toy line like that? What if they put the Transformers logo on the packaging and stocked them with the Beast Wars toys?

Well, they did.

Hasbro put the Transformers logo on Animorphs toys to basically help sell them. Beast Wars was still a powerhouse on the store shelves and another animal based Transformers toyline had to sell like hotcakes right? The toys were stocked with the BW toys regardless of the actual lack of relation.

It landed with a dull thud.

The toys just didn't sell for any number of reasons. Within the TF fandom, they were regarded poorly and called every negative thing one could imagine. Personally I wasn't sold either and just focused on the new Transmetal 2 toys arriving on shelves.

So, it didn't take long for them to get marked down for low clearance prices. Which is pretty much where I came in. Being a broke community college student, the idea of a $3 TF was too tempting to pass up.

So I started buying them.

I knew going in that these were not my beloved BW toys. I knew they were abominations and I was supposed to feel ashamed of myself for buying them. I kept it secret. My shame in giving these bastards a home was deep. Ok, maybe not to deep.

Turns out, they were really good toys.

As time went on, the clearance supply dried out (never got that Tobias hawk, and still kicking myself for passing on the T-Rex Combiner) and my nights of $3 action figure fun was over. I proudly stood my Animorphs next to my Beast Warriors and took up for the dark horse in the TF section.

Luck would have it that Hasbro found a way to release some unused Animorphs molds in Beast Wars, as the new Mutants sub line. The new figures transformed from one animal to another! The human kibble was remolded into robot kibble. What resulted was a short lived and controversial Transformers toy line.

Of course I loved them.

I loved the Mutants so much, I held onto hope that the line would continue and maybe even get animated. Of course I was dreaming an impossible dream and the Mutants left as quickly as they arrived.

During the original Universe line, rumor had it that the Animorphs molds were to be used as Pretenders (that could of been awesome) and the Mutants Soundwave mold was planned to get a use in the canceled Walmart Halloween Horrorcon toys.

I know I'm alone in my enjoyment of a failed Transformers toyline. Or practically alone, but I don't care. I had a really fun time with the toys when they were out. Not everyone can say that, or would be willing to give them a chance. But it gives me a chance to be hipster over something.

Ok, that was reaching.