Did you really think we'd get through another Halloween season without my raving about PAAS Halloween Make-Up Kits? Admittedly I post this thing a billion times throughout the year regardless of the season. That's because I love them. It may not look like much to some of you now, but at the time they were amazing! There was just something about that cardboard standee at the grocery store holding all the different kits that just beamed "FREAKING AWESOME". I love looking at the make-up kits throughout the spooky season. The packaging, cheesy pics that you'll never quite replicate. All the broken open ones spilled on the shelf, all the unsold ones showing up at the local liquidation stores long expired and usable the following year. Just the visage of them is pure Halloween to me. PAAS wasn't my first make-up kit, or even my last. That PAAS Werewolf kit though, was the best.
You probably guessed after watching the above commercial that I would talk about how much I love Halloween make-up kits. However I just wanted to throw out some love to Kooky Spooks for outright using the cheapness of the make up as a selling point. Real ones know cheaper Halloween make up usually cracks on your face as it dries. Kooky Spooks cracks as it dries to give the illusion that it's old and gross skin. Way to go Kooky Spooks... just passing off your cheap ass product as psoriasis.
I've made my love for Halloween make-up kits well known here. That being said, I don't think I ever saw anyone buy a Showtime make-up kit. Sure, I was a kid when they were out and not exactly in the know about such things. However my local Walmart sold them and I saw the exact same amount on the shelf the entire Halloween season. Especially one with a crushed box. It just sat there hoping somebody would want to be a weird clown mime...thing.
You probably guessed after watching the above commercial that I would talk about how much I love Halloween make-up kits. However I just wanted to throw out some love to kooky Spooks for outright using the cheapness of the make up as a selling point. Real ones know cheaper Halloween make up usually cracks on your face as it dries. Kooky Spooks cracks as it dries to give the illusion that it's old and gross skin. Way to go Kooky Spooks... just passing off your cheap ass product as psoriasis.
Did you really think we'd get through another Halloween season without my raving about PAAS Halloween Make-Up Kits? Admittedly I post this thing a billion times throughout the year regardless of the season. That's because I love them. It may not look like much to some of you now, but at the time they were amazing! There was just something about that cardboard standee at the grocery store holding all the different kits that just beamed "FUCKING AWESOME". I love looking at the make-up kits throughout the spooky season. The packaging, cheesy pics that you'll never quite replicate. All the broken open ones spilled on the shelf, all the unsold ones showing up at the local liquidation stores long expired and usable the following year. Just the visage of them is pure Halloween to me. PAAS wasn't my first make-up kit, or even my last. That PAAS Werewolf kit though, was the best.
It's Easter weekend and you know what that means? That's right, another excuse for me to force Halloween into something. Fortunately, it's not too hard of a task today. Long time readers know of my love for PAAS Halloween make up kits, something that hasn't been made in a very long time unfortunately.
If you've been to a store recently, you've seen all sorts of Easter Egg dye kits. Many made by PAAS. I'm not sure why PAAS eventually got out of the Halloween game. It seemed like they'd always be around until they weren't. I guess with the company founded on Easter they thought better to focus on eggs than WWF Halloween costumes. It's not like there's a shortage of make up kits either. Maybe I'm just playing favorites. Something about those boxes.
I have an admission of guilt. Even though I am pure in heart and say
my prayers by night, I became a wolf when the wolfbane bloomed and the
autumn moon was bright. Yes, I was once a werewolf. When the moon was
full I changed into a monster and prowled the neighborhood for a victim.
My blood lust could not be stopped, I'd kill and kill and kill. Nobody
was safe, for you see I was a werewolf.
For exactly one night.
In the third grade.
I've mentioned Crestwood House Monsters here before, so what if I told you the stars aligned just right and I got the Wolfman book from the library the same day I first saw Teenwolf? Because that's exactly what happened.
I was prepared to read my book that Friday night when a new movie came on HBO. A cinematic masterpiece, Teen Wolf.
It was then that I was bitten, by the idea to be a werewolf for Halloween. I'll wait for you to catch your breath. So there I had the perfect costume in mind but now with a conundrum. How
was I going to pull that off? The simple answer would be with a mask
and some of those hairy gloves.
The complicated part would be I was in the third grade and what you might call a child.
What I'm saying is, I was still a little scared of rubber masks. I was petrified of them prior, despite loving all sorts of monster toys and movies, having a real one in your face is a different story.
Though after years of my brother reusing his Gamorrean Guard mask, I had matured from pissing myself in abject terror to slight discomfort. However, I still didn't want to wear one.
Ben Cooper mask, sure. Rubber mask, nope. So how do I become a werewolf? All of my costumes up to this point were smock and mask or make up kit based.
I've mentioned how much I love make up kits before, but I don't think you quite understand. I freaking adore them.
I love looking at the packaging and at the examples. The variety of kits from cheap to expensive, I just can't get enough of them on the aisle.
I mentioned it was the weekend right? So of course a trip to the store was in order and wouldn't you know it, the old faithful PAAS make up kit display was standing proudly.
All the kits were there. Dracula, ghost, camouflage... stupid ass clown... glam rock... left over Easter Egg kit... wait...
wait...
A WEREWOLF!
Needless to say, I had my costume in check. Come Halloween night I was dressed as a werewolf should. Blue jeans, black fruit of the loom sweat shirt, and the mind blowing transformation that only a PAAS make up kit could produce! The kit came with several tubes of make up and instructions on how to properly apply. Also included were plastic fangs and on the back of the box were cut out ears and moon medallion (yarn not included).
I don't mean to brag, but I looked badass. My cousin arrived in yet another bullshit bed sheet ghost costume with some of his moms cold cream on his face to make it white. At least he smelt nice. I got so much freaking candy and even scared a few old ladies. Except the ones who never know what you're supposed to be. EVERYBODY ISN'T DRACULA MRS. EDNA. Same assholes that gives out those stale peanut butter chews. Same ones. Same bag from last year.
That Halloween rocked, maybe even more when my cousin threw one of his trademark tantrums and yard spiked his MCBoo Pail into the ground after tripping on his sheet for the millionth time. We got back to my place for pizza and a viewing of Teen Wolf. The perfect bookend to my werewolf saga.
It's not too uncommon to see a a member of KISS at Halloween. A perfect
costume in many ways. If somebody doesn't recognize you or your make up
runs... now you're a ghost! Boo! If you're too old for trick or
treating, it's the perfect costume for a party. With the horribly named 'Kiss your Face' makeup kit by Remco, you can trick or treat all night and eat candy every day.
It's mid-August, summer's almost over and the back to school stuff is making way for Halloween goodness. Well, before this year when stuff started mid-summer and I'm not complaining one bit, but work with me. The early stuff is usually odd craft things, some candy here and there, and they start stocking the make-up kits. Sure it's just a few tubes of white and green at first. Maybe black, that random eye patch that nobodies going to buy. By September it'll all be there. Various kits from .99 cents to a million dollars. You can be a devil for a dollar, a witch for a little more, or even those crazy glue on scars and stab wounds for a good twenty. However among the many, there are a few stand outs. One such was Kooky Spooks!
Let's talk about Kooky Spooks for a moment shall we? I don't know if you caught the 'when it dries it cracks' bit in the commercial, but that was indeed a selling feature. Sure all the make-up did the same and there was a good chance the bottom half of your face would of flaked off by the end of the night assuming the rest didn't sweat off. Kooky Spooks had the damn gall to sell that common costume malady as a freaking feature. I kinda admire that. Let's take a second to look over the directions.
Now before you study this too hard, don't get too excited. No matter how hard you try, you're just going to have whatever color the kit's primary color is and black around your eyes. You might have some black on your nose, maybe some on your lips if you can stand the taste. If you're really good, you'll have some of the other color around that black eye thing you've got going on. Maybe smeared somewhere else. You're parents will tell you the ones on the package were done by professionals, you look great, don't worry. It doesn't matter, half the other kids on the planet will have the same make-up job.
Now you know you'll need more than your Kooky Spooks, you're going to need a robe. The same damn robe every store has that's either a garbage bag with sleeves for 99 cents, or cloth for twenty. Chances are you might be wearing the one your older brother wore before that somehow didn't get thrown away. I think the costume of solid color face with black rings around eyes and robe is probably the official costume of Halloween. It doesn't matter who you are, you will rock that shit at least once. Chances are there's going to be some sort of reflective strip/sticker/glow stick attached to that robe as well. That's important, because there's always that random Ford Taurus just plowing through the neighborhood like it's not the one night of the year all the kids are in the street. You'd think they'd at least see the kid with the glow in the dark make-up... who am I kidding, that crap don't work.
I've made my fondness for Halloween make up kits known pretty often, so obviously it's something I have something to say about. My local stores have been slowly putting out the seasonal stuff, finally telling all the back to school section to beat it. I guess it takes so long because the first month of school is always the non stop battle of teachers not approving of any of the supplies you got, despite the list of supplies the school gave your parents. But the first things on shelves are candy with a smattering of decorations and costumes before the stock starts going out in full force. The make up kits are usually in that initial batch of first out. Just the simple stuff first. Budget kits, a few tubes of various colors, and then wham the more deluxe kits.
Last week I was enjoying looking at the kits that were already on shelves and man, no matter how many times I get disappointed by that tube of glow in the dark make up (Why does it only seem to glow when it's in the tube?), there I am... in awe. This commercial for Showtime make up (a more prominent brand at the time) is intended for adult costuming. Which brings something to mind that I've always noticed. When I was a kid in the 80's and into the 90's these adult kits always seemed to market those metallic face designs. I don't think I've ever actually seen it in real life outside of commercials and packaging. Did anybody actually do that?
Vampire/Witch/Devil, sure. Animal face, yeah there's always those. Skull or ghosty face pretty often, with occasional variations on face paint color. Metallic faced person? Nope.
It's never too early to start thinking of your Halloween costume. Sure, it's late August, but before you know it that same mask that's been collecting dust all season at Walgreen's will be sold out by the time you walk into buy it (and a Pepsi). I've mentioned before my affinity towards Halloween make up kits before. From the dollar tubes of generic colors, to the more elaborate kits (that you somehow end up still just using the basic colors). Then there's the kits with a gimmick, some extra concoction that sticks to your face adding in some kind of effect. A scar, warts, that weird icy crystal stuff we've all tried once. Usually the extra stuff dries up and falls off somewhere around when it's too late to go back home and fix it, but too early to clean it off. Leaving you with a giant make-up hole in your face that you end up explaining for the rest of the night (I'm looking at you Terminator 2 set).
Spooky Goop was sold more on the novelty of mixing it up in neato mad scientist type gear than the end product. Which was 100% the idea as who wouldn't want to mix up a fizzy potion to put on their face instead of just smearing that generic dollar tube of green on that smells like farts? Sure the end result looks like that weird skin mask stuff thing Mom spreads on her face before bed time (and seemingly does nothing), but you got to mix it together in a coffin and vial made from the thinnest plastic known to mankind!
