Scary Monsters, Frozen Treats
Summer is a Spooky Season ....and hot as crap. Depending on where you live, sometimes the floor literally is lava. Where I live it's around 100 degrees this time of year, and that's not adding in the humidity. Know what's scary? Chaffing. One way everybody likes to stay cool is a pop sickle, ice cold and delicious. There's no better way to beat the heat. But man... it's a Spooky Season, right?
Monster Pops and Vampire's Secret served up the summer chills back in the day. Monster themed frozen treats don't haunt the freezer section at Kroger anymore, but when they did, it was awesome. While Monster Pops came flavored orange, cherry, and grape in a variety of monster shapes! Though there was a disproportionate amount of grape as opposed to the other flavors in each box. It wasn't much of a surprise to find a freezer burnt grape misshapen vampire behind the tombstones in my family freezer.
Vampire's Secret wasn't just awesomely themed, it was a fucking delicacy. A black cherry pop sickle filled with this amazingly delicious cherry sauce. When it comes to frozen novelties, it was the creme of the crop and a box generally lasted only minutes. It's surprising that the flavor isn't still around. They could re-theme it into anything else and it'd still be the best tasting thing in the store. But... they should keep Dracula on the box.