Friday, June 5, 2020

Friday Night Frights- Jake The Snake, The The Ultimate Warrior, The Hell Am I Doing With My Life


Oh, yes, it's Friday Night and the Frights are right, it's Friday Night...Frights. Summer is a Spooky season, as you all are used to seeing by now, and as a spooky season that leads up to THE spooky season... there's some spooky shit to be had. What am I talking about, well, that was literally just filler. I have no clue how to start this.

*cough*

Back in 1991, The Ultimate Warrior was in a feud with The Undertaker. Which means all sorts of stuff filmed in a graveyard while Paul Bearer did that face thing... the hell was that? Did... did he poop himself or something? As The Ultimate Warrior was facing a dark evil foe, he needed the help of another dark and evil individual, Jake The Snake! If nothing says dark and evil in the early 90's it's a guy with a mullet in a silk shirt who owns a snake. Jake begins showing the Ultimate Warrior the ways of the darkness and to believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of your heart, Warrior. Which beats the blood of the warrior.

We are then treated to various clips of Jake and Warrior in a graveyard doing such things as digging up bodies, closing the Warrior in a casket, and other spooky shit until the culmination in a shed full of snakes. It's a carnival haunted house come to life with SO MUCH HEAVY BREATHING.

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