Friday, April 24, 2020

The Evil Horde Is Even More Evil In Germany


Hey Rob, it's been a while since you've said anything about the walking Halloween decorations that He-Man has to fight. You know what reader? You're right! Let's clear that up with this particularly spooky German commercial for new Evil Horde figures. When I say haunted house, I mean it. He-Man is walking in the some creepy woods and the new members jump out and scare him. Haunted House ass stuff right here.

Dragstor, who's basically a walking car engine with a tire in his chest pulls up. Multi-Bot, the robot companion to Modulok, swaps heads. But the award for most effective jump scare goes to the Horde Trooper. Horde Troopers are Hordak's robot foot soldiers and probably the most common source of disposable cannon fodder. The toy's gimmick was exploding to simulate the many deaths of Horde Troopers in battle.

Ever been in a haunted house? It's usually decorated somewhat scarily and various workers jump out to scare you in costume. The bigger the budget, the better the costumes and decorations, so it's not just the cashier from Subway with a white face and some fake blood. A big budget one transports you to this imagined world and that's really a scary monster jumping out and scaring you. Unfortunately they all say stupid lines regardless of the budget. This commercial is a big budget haunted house, in Dragstor you've got the guy who slides up and scares folks in the parking lot. In Multi-Bot you've got a variation of the headless freak. But in The Horde Trooper, you've got the walking pile of gore.

The funny thing is, Horde Trooper variations isn't the only type of foot soldier employed by The Evil Horde. There's wraiths, giant insects, and skeletons riding scary horses. Hordak's headquarters is a haunted cave. His entire army is a bunch of monsters and demons. That's in addition to Skeletor's gang and I've not even touched upon the Snake Men yet. There's got to be a support group on Eternia for citizens who have jump scare induced health issues. The entire planet is one giant Walgreen's Halloween section with He-Man and The Heroic Warriors usually wearing brown pants. You know, if it happens, maybe it'll blend in.


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