You might just have an alcoholic in your house

To be honest, the rules regarding Gremlins are pretty... crap.

Don't feed them after midnight. What time zone? How do they know? Do they update with daylight saving time?

Don't get them wet... how wet? There's moisture in the air. Does condensation count? Isn't hydration technically...?

Sunlight and bright lights? Okay, I get that one. I mean, that's workable... except when they're surrounded by lights in various scenes, but a random desk lamp is an issue.

Now... we've got to worry about them drinking and driving. Which is a pretty big rule for everyone, not just Gremlins. Like, seriously, don't do it. That's one of the most irresponsible things you can do, and you have to be a pretty big piece of shit to do it intentionally.

The Gremlins, though... they're already destroying everything, and then you let them behind the wheel of your Mom's '89 Ford Taurus, drunker than a sailor on payday?

While we're here, can we point out how many jump scares this PSA has?

Good thing Gizmo's adorable.

Meet and Treat Yourself

This old PSA from the 70's advises it's best to trick or treat in groups. That's not the worst idea, though I can't help but to notice all the Tootsie branded candy. That's because Tootsie sponsored this spot. I guess they felt the need since so many of their products are handed out on Halloween night. Come to think of it, I never saw Tootsie Rolls outside of Halloween and Christmas as a kid. These days it's in every waiting room I see, full of Tootsie Rolls candy. They should really make a waiting room safety tape.

Originally Posted 8/30/2024

You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you bowl with the reaper

Wow, we've come a long way, haven't we? These days, AIDS is thankfully a treatable disease... however, it wasn't always that way.

While I'm absolutely not making light of it, this PSA is absolutely ridiculous and, frankly, pretty insensitive.

It's also hilarious? I mean, the Grim Reaper is bowling with humans as pins. Okay, we've seen that metaphor before...

HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT BABY SPIN IN THE AIR?

We Need To Talk About Safety AGAIN

I don't know who needs to hear this, but... Halloween is a dangerous holiday. When you've got all sorts of ghosts, and monsters, and demons just roaming around - things are bound to happen. Add in trick or treating and that's just one more thing that's going on. I swear I was going somewhere with that train of thought. Oh well, fuck it. It's a damn fucking dangerous holiday full of danger and fucking devils and all sorts of evil spooky shit and we fucking love it. That being said, to quote Okefenokee Joe, you've got to be swamp smart. Somebody put a needle in your Twix? Sorry to say, things like that are bound to happen. It's best you take in a safety tip or two before the big night. Trick or treat, you're dead meat.

originally posted 9/28/21 

Who Spooked Rodney?

Rodney is a a big old fraidy cat. If there's a superstition, Rodney is scared of it. Which one begs to reason... why does he even go trick or treating? Or even to a haunted house? Does he just relish is pooping his pants or something? And what's up with that one kid while they're in the haunted house? Is he ok?

Originally Posted 10/25/2023

Double Bubble Saftey and Trouble

Halloween is a very dangerous holiday, which is part of it's allure. I mean sure, you can get robbed while Christmas shopping... but is there razor blades hidden in candy canes?

Meet and Treat Yourself

This old PSA from the 70's advises it's best to trick or treat in groups. That's not the worst idea, though I can't help but to notice all the Tootsie branded candy. That's because Tootsie sponsored this spot. I guess they felt the need since so many of their products are handed out on Halloween night. Come to think of it, I never saw Tootsie Rolls outside of Halloween and Christmas as a kid. These days it's in every waiting room I see, their full of Tootsie Rolls candy. They should really make a waiting room safety tape.

Silent Cries of your Teeth

The ADA is very concerned about your Halloween candy and the business it will bring them.

Jackie and Friends want you to be safe

It's not Halloween without everybody and their cousins mother telling you to be safe. While the legitimacy of some Halloween urban legends can be debated... it's a pretty good idea to be a little extra careful when taking candy from strangers. You know, I love these old safety films for various reasons. One is discovering things I've never heard of.  Jackie and Friends Sandwicheria is probably out of business as I get absolutely no results from Google about them. However they clearly were popular enough in 1976 (or 1977, it's not clear) to sponsor an animated short promoting safety for trick or treaters. I'm pretty impressed that they didn't only teach the same old stuff... but also preached some manners to kids. The cartoons pretty great, I really like the Pumpkin Head monster scaring the gang at the end... and did Jackie loose an eye?

We Need To Talk About Saftey AGAIN

I don't know who needs to hear this, but... Halloween is a dangerous holiday. When you've got all sorts of ghosts, and monsters, and demons just roaming around things are bound to happen. Add in trick or treating and that's just one more thing that's going on. I swear I was going somewhere with that train of thought. Oh well, fuck it. It's a damn fucking dangerous holiday full of danger and fucking devils and all sorts of evil spooky shit and we fucking love it. That being said, to quote Okefenokee Joe, you've got to be swamp smart. Somebody put a needle in your Twix? Sorry to say, things like that are bound to happen. It's best you take in a safety tip or two before the big night. Trick or treat, you're dead meat.

Organ Harvest, For Kids

RUN