Friday, August 2, 2019

Lost in the Shadows


The Lost Boys came out when I was in elementary school and was serious business. The terrifying nature of teenagers to a dorky kid was scary enough despite being vampires. Did I mention satanic panic was rampant in our area? I'm not sure if you realize it, but Satan was behind every corner in the 80's somehow. Even at the Circle K. I saw him there once.

I'm not joking, this is serious business. There are satanists sacrificing kids (like me) in the woods and those kids in black coats on the bus are vampires. My brother totally seen them kill somebody, he told me. OMG what am I going to do? Now I've got to deal with vampires? Crap. Why are there vampires? Don't even get me started on the haunted house down the street. I saw that guy who lives the other day and he's been watching me. I heard he was satanic, what if he's the lead vampire?

I am so screwed.


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